Handling the temperamental prima donna

In every group of people, no matter their skills or lack thereof, a given number can always be counted upon to gain the reputation of being "prima donnas". What is a prima donna? Well, according to the dictionary, apart from being the chief female singer in an opera, a prima donna is defined simply as "a temperamental person". And, just as an opera can quite often not replace its chief female singer, no matter how temperamental she is, a fund-raising campaign or event often look upon one of its temperamental volunteers also as being irreplaceable.

Very few people are irreplaceable, but the cost of replacement can often be disastrous to a campaign that is in full swing, or to an event that is scheduled to take place sooner rather than later. What to do?

Firstly, remember that there are usually one of two reasons which make a person a prima donna. The first is that they have extremely high standards and believe that no one else shares those standards. The second is quite simply that they are basically insecure. Many of the world's finest artists are amazingly insecure, and hide that insecurity by adopting a veneer of aggressiveness and abrasiveness.

They can't handle criticism
Once you have decided that a fellow-volunteer is a temperamental person, you must then fix firmly in your mind that honey catches more files than vinegar, and above all remember that a temperamental person cannot usually handle criticism. Your volunteer usually believes that criticism is of them as a person rather than of the manner in which a job is being done.

Your approach should therefore always be positive. Sit down with your problem person, tell them what a great job they are doing, and ask what further help you can give to meet their high standards. Keep homing in on each problem or complaint and ask how they would like that particular problem or complaint solved. Break down the problems into bite-sized pieces. For instance, a complaint that nobody seems to know what they are doing cannot be rectified if it remains a generalization. Ask if your volunteer has any people with whom they would prefer to work.

A complaint that there is no leadership coming from the organization can best be answered by asking your volunteer if they would like to provide that leadership. And so on, throughout the litany of complaints that a private conversation might elicit, and be sure to to have a one-on-one meeting. Don't place your volunteer in the position of having to defend themself in front of a group, as if you need witnesses. And above all, don't let yourself go on the defensive. You're trying to provide positive leadership to someone you value.

Know when to cut bait
The foregoing presupposes that you want to keep that volunteer active, temperamental or otherwise. But - and it's a big but - once you find that enough good people will not work with that volunteer and that a campaign or project is in fact endangered because of them, you have no alternative but to ask them to step down. If this should happen, under no circumstances give the names of the volunteers who have said that they won't work with your problem. They will all deny to your problem's face that they have ever said such a thing and you'll be left hanging out to dry!